Ask An Even Smarter Brotha: My Passion For The “Point & Take” Method

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As an avid news junkie, I come across tons of stories and columns that I glance over and then continue on with my quest for the next great piece or breaking news story. But today I found one that I just couldn’t shake. It was on the site Madame Noire entitled “Ask A Smart Brotha: My Passion For The Pull Out Method“. Now according to the comments, a lot of people couldn’t believe what they were reading. I mean, endorsing coitus interruptus on a blog site targeted primarily at Black women? The same Black women responsible for the 73% out-of-wedlock birth rate among Black babies? Many people thought this piece went too far, but personally, I don’t think it went far enough!

For starters, who cares about children being born to unwed Black woman anyway? Especially when in some countries majority of kids will be born out of wedlock by 2016! Why waste time trying not to be a statistic when if we wait it out long enough, the statistics will catch up to us? Who knows, by 2175, more young Black men might finally be dying at the hands of white men than other young Black men. You know, like it use to be.

But after reading that bold, controversial, and courageous piece, encouraging us all to step up and embrace the pull out method while simultaneously quieting our minds on the risks of unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancy as long as we timed our coital dismount perfectly, it gave me the courage to finally offer up one of my many suggestions to the Black community that I have been holding onto for quite some time now.

I would like to introduce you to what I call the “Point and Take” method. It’s my own personal response to “Stop and Frisk” and though it’s not entirely legal, I think we can all benefit from it. The P&T method (as I like to refer to it in the streets) is when any Black person living in New York approaches any white person who may be in possession of something said Black person may want (iPhones, iPads, Louis bags, venti caramel mocha with light foam), points their gun in their face in a very aggressive manner (preferably sideways as to not break from the stereotype that all Black people brandish weapons this way) and takes the item from them before hurrying off. This has been scientifically proven to work and is almost 100% effective (seriously, look it up).

Now just to clarify, I am only a huge proponent of “Point and Take” when properly done. What I would consider a properly executed P&T is pretty much any time you both get what you were attempting to take and escape un-arrested. The key to the success of this method is knowing the exact right moment to pull yourself out of the situation before passers by and on-lookers get a good enough look at you to give to police. Stay in the P&T two seconds too long and it’s clink time.

You may be thinking “Travon, not only are you out of your fucking mind bat shit crazy,  but you’re encouraging Black people to partake in a very risky activity that could very well ruin their lives and will sound very stupid when they attempt to explain their actions once the method has failed them” and to that I would say yes, you may be right. But remember, P&T should only be done by people who are most experienced in the method, preferably those who have been practicing it for years. You have to have racked up at least 10,000 hours of P&T according to Malcolm Gladwell’s “Tipping Point”, to be good enough to execute it properly or at least achieved boss status in every game in the Grand Theft Auto video game series.

It will take brave ideas and bold stances like those of the “Smart Brothas” and my own in order to move Black people to the forefront of society. Who cares if the pull out method is actually a bad idea or if P&T can get you “arrested” or “killed”. Stop being pussies! I hope this gives someone else courage to stand up for their bold new idea as well. Some of you might think I’m crazy or hate me for advocating things like this but remember, they tried to burn Galileo at the stake for his big ideas and now who has the egg on their faces?

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Pardon My Absence

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A lot has changed in the last nine months. Like for example, nine months ago this blog had over 13,000 subscribers and now just a few hundred. Any other person would find that plummet in audience ego shattering. NBC would call it business as usual.

But for the 12 of you who follow my work closely enough, you know why I’ve been absent. Because my audience of 13,000 has been swapped for one that inches upon three million. I say that to say, nine months ago I received my dream job writing for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (holds for applause).

In the last nine months I’ve seen a significant increase in many things, from financial stability to body fat percentage(now I can afford good food, sue me), but the most notable increase in my eyes is the number of Emmy nominations. Going from zero to one.

Which brings me to my true purpose for writing this. Thank you to all of you who have consistently enjoyed my work over the last almost 6 years. It’s now put me in the position to win the highest honor for what I do, writing television. I have not forgotten nor forsaken you. And thank you for the chance to use the word “forsaken”. I will be making a conscious effort to do more writing here but if you really miss me, tune in to Comedy Central Monday through Thursday at 11pm and enjoy the work of myself and a brilliant staff of 200 others. Until next time…

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John Fugelsang, Travon Free, And Rev. Sandie Richards Discuss Healthcare Reform on The Stephanie Miller Show

I had both the honor and pleasure of being a guest on Talking Liberally With Stephanie Miller with my friend and one of my favorite comedians(and one of the smartest people I know) John Fugelsang. If you missed it, it aired on Current TV and is a weekly show Monday through Friday from 6a-9a and can be heard on KTLK 1150.

For all that watched and listened thank you and you can go here for a clip from the show discussing the Affordable Healthcare Act.

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A Perfectly Frank Admission

Christopher Francis Ocean, wherever you are…I’m starting to think we’re a lot alike. You see, It was only two short years ago that I myself passed through the threshold of bravery’s doorstep to free my soul of a parasitic burden, shouldered by this human being spinning in blackness, that had yet to be spoken to the world from a man who has built and is still building a life on saying so much. This man being myself of course.

The plight of the non-hetero American is still in many ways a heavy burden to carry and when you paint it Black or Brown, the amount of weight increases to a level that would cause Atlas himself to buckle at the knees. After I read Frank’s beautiful and poetic letter, for a brief moment, my world stood still. Immediately I recognized that space within myself. Anyone whose ever been in or wanted love should have. Because as a Black gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person, there are very few examples of public success, acceptance or mainstream adoration, let alone in the hip hop community where “fag” is the end all be all of insults one can deliver. In part, this is why the Black pop culture world goes back and forth in debate about the sexuality of a certain “Queen”. Continue reading

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An Open Letter to Trayvon Martin

Dear Trayvon,

I am a 6’7, 250 pound, Black serial hoodie wearer. There is almost never a time that I leave home without wearing one, aside from any formal occasion. It’s often a favorite choice of mine to wear and you’ll find me wearing one in many photos. But in light of recent events I have to wonder if my love for a very common fashion accessory coupled with my brown skin could one day lead to my untimely death the way it has for you.

For weeks I’ve sat with the knowledge of your story without speaking publicly about it like I have with many other issues on many other occasions. A part of me was reluctant to fully digest the story and process what I was told to believe as truth. Because then I would have to face the grim reality of the world I still live in and the challenges myself and other young Black men still face today. I’m ready to face it. Continue reading

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Words of Our Enemies, Silence of Our Friends

“Our lives begin to end when we remain silent about things that matter” – Martin Luther King Jr.

The last few days have been quite interesting. And by interesting I mean I’ve had quite a few conversations addressing people’s ignorance as it relates to sexuality. To sum up the flurry of emotions I’ve felt in the last five hours let alone the last five days would be as complicated as teaching a toddler the Pythagorean method. So this being my forum for venting, here I go.

For those who STILL don’t know, yes I am a bisexual Black man from Compton California. Proud of it. Quite frankly I don’t care what you think of me, it’s none of my business. It has been well known and documented for the last two years but some people are apparently still unaware and decided to voice their opinion(albeit an uneducated and ignorant one) on the matter. I actually plan to address the concerns of the aforementioned individual in a separate piece later so I won’t go into detail. My focus here is aimed elsewhere.

It’s Black History Month. A time to celebrate and rejoice for all things Black and the rich culture and history Black people have woven into the fabric of this supposed great nation. However, I recently saw a video of a young Black man exiting a store in Atlanta Georgia only to be brutally attacked by a mob of several more young Black men from a gang known as the Pittsburg Jack City Gang, who repeatedly shouted “No faggots in Jack City.” This heinous attack (seen below) was based on the young man’s “Perceived” sexual orientation. Continue reading

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